To talk about death is to talk about life. If we care consider death, even briefly, I believe we will live our lives more fully.
People ask me all of the time “how do you do it, Cyndy” — how do I deal with death every minute of every day for 11 years? Joyfully, tearfully, tender to the hearts that are hurting, yet tuned to the ever-present “love channel”! That is what grief is — love — that’s what love looks like in its purest form…
When someone you love dies it hurts…it is that simple…that is what love looks like–grief.
Thankfully, we have loved well and we will grieve well.
Posted on July 31st, 2007 by Cyndy
Filed under: Bereavement, Compassion, Death, Friends, Funeral Service, Funerals, Grief, Loss, Loved ones, Remembrance, Spirituality, The Compassionate Friends, Uncategorized, Visitation, recovery | No Comments »
There are so many decisions to make at the time someone you love dies. I have watched people “go through the motions”, sureal, taking care of “business” on “auto pilot”. So many families I talk with in the year(s) following the death describe those first days, weeks and months as “walking in a fog”.
Be respectful, helpful, but not over-bearing when companioning the newly bereaved. Even though they are grieving, they are the bright, smart, caring person they were before the loss. Guard against wanting to “protect” them as it can easily cross over into (maybe unintentional) a CONTROL issue…which is never healthy for anyone.
Posted on July 31st, 2007 by Cyndy
Filed under: Bereavement, Compassion, Death, Friends, Grief, Loss, Loved ones, Passed, Religion, Spirituality, recovery | No Comments »
At Hippensteel Funeral Service & Crematory in Lafayette, IN where I am bereavement coordinator, the funeral directors are the most amazing people on the planet. Their knowledge and strength, humor and compassion are the pillars of our establishment.
They have the hard jobs. It is my privilege to work along side of them. They inspire me every day. I love how they connect with the families we serve. To be their cheerleader is one of my greatest joys.
Paul Dunbar, Guy Poche’, Dave Rowe, Victor Nelson, Renee Spitznagle, Roy Rullman — these are my heros…without them there would be no families to serve. Thank you to each one of you.
Posted on July 27th, 2007 by Cyndy
Filed under: Bereavement, Compassion, Death, Friends, Funeral Service, Funerals, Grief, Loss, Loved ones, Memorial, Passed, Remembrance, Spirituality, The Compassionate Friends, Visitation, Wake, recovery | No Comments »
What an amazing national conference of The Compassionate Friends. It was my privilege to accompany my dear friend and co-facilitator/presenter, Marcy, to this conference.
Tired of flying, we made it a “road trip” from Lafayette, IN to Oklahoma City. The speakers were great, the facilities really nice, the Memorial amazing, Bricktown the best … BUT The Compassionate Friends themselves, over 1000 bereaved families gathered together in one place. I have never witnessed such quiet strength.
A Club I am thankful not to belong to, I am still awed at the depth of love and commitment to these children living on through the living relatives. I am forever changed.
Posted on July 27th, 2007 by Cyndy
Filed under: Compassion, Friends, Loss, The Compassionate Friends | No Comments »
We’ve all heard the expression “you’ll become better or bitter”…I think this is especially true in regards to our grief journey. Every minute of every day we choose to become “better or bitter”. Someone we love dies and it turns our world upside down. Everything we knew has changed in a moment. Not only do we miss our loved one who died, we miss “who we were” before our loved one died. When my dear friend, Karen, died in January’07, I not only missed her phone calls and lunches, the companionship and “girl talk” BUT I also missed who Cyndy was when Karen was on this earth.
When Karen was on this earth with me she challenged me to go further “outside the box” than I had ever dared…especially when it came to spiritual matters. She had a way of asking me to “consider” a completely foreign idea. She could have cared less if I agreed with her or not, her only requirement for our lively conversations was that I “consider” all other ideas and beliefs. She made me better–more open-minded, more compassionate, less judgmental, a better friend. I miss her and I miss the Cyndy that was on this earth with her. When she died I have had to look for other ways to fill the void she left.
Abundant blessings to all,
Cyndy
Posted on July 20th, 2007 by Cyndy
Filed under: Compassion, Friends, Grief, Loved ones, recovery | No Comments »
I am going to the Compassionate Friends National Conference
Posted on July 17th, 2007 by Cyndy
Filed under: Compassion | No Comments »
I believe that every person is born with the ability to cope with loss. Yes, it is life altering experience that most of us would avoid forever if given the choice. But on this subject called death, it is a part of every life. No money, vitamins, exercise program or prayer stops the inevitable. We all die and we are all born with the ability to cope with the loss of life. Even when we’re sure we will die also, statistics tell us that is not true.
I love knowing that you and I are born with the ability to copy with loss.
Posted on July 15th, 2007 by Cyndy
Filed under: Bereavement, Death, Friends, Grief, Loss, Loved ones, Passed, Religion, Spirituality | No Comments »
